October 17th, 2012


So Close

Ok...I am sure I'll find many more places that need mending, but for now I like this version better by far. I put some of the 'left outs' back in. Although I see CY being forward to her at the end of yesterdays ep it is still hard to see him moving in this direction. If she wasn't helping him (for her own emotional reasons) I can't see him being able to unleash the inner passionate man. It kinda felt good to use ES in the story to tell DH to 'cut the bullshit' and call him a moron. There should be a law against being this into a show (ahem lets pretend I wasn't this into CH, SUFFB, and K2H).

Eun Soo was going to die, Choi Young had overheard the majority of the conversation Eun Soo was having with Deok Heung. Choi Young knew that she was poisoned by this evil man. Choi Young never allowed himself the passing nightmare that she would leave him; in fact it wasn’t an option in any scenario that had played out. Choi Young living in a world without Eun Soo had never crossed his mind.

Eun Soo remembered that first time she was with Choi Young right after she became an ‘honorary’ Wooldalchi member, and after some resistance from him about being in men’s quarters ended up with her being put in a room down the hall. It all turned out for the best when Choi Young came to her later that night alone so he could ask her to be by his side. He had obviously been debating this for a while as evidenced by his stress level, which usually would be cute to her except she was working on a limited time schedule right now. In every word of her letter to herself she felt a stab of grief for the woman, a woman that turned out to be herself that had been the victim a hundred years before. The desolation she felt after having the nightmare where Choi Young died made it obvious the feelings she felt while writing the letter. So in the letter Eun Soo was writing a letter to herself begging to stay by ‘that person’s’ side. She planned to stay by his side for as long as she could in this time line, and if that meant she had to ‘take the bull by the horns,’ so to speak she didn’t see a problem with that. That night she remembered every touch, every breath he took, and every catch in his breath she induced.

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“You are an evil little man. There isn’t an antidote I knew that before. You want me to leave someone to stay by your side why?” This was not a question she really needed to know at this point, just because she didn’t care. There was absolutely nothing he or anyone else could do to move her away from Choi Young. That ship had already sailed. “I still do not understand Choi Young’s or your need to not use a formal tone with royalty, but what if I told you I do have a medicine that would cure you?” Eun Soo didn’t even try to hold back her eye-roll “I know you don’t have anything so let’s just skip the bull shit schemes. Right now I have some place to be, and that place is with someone else who owns my future.”

Deok Heung couldn’t hide his surprise when she said ‘owns’ in relation to her future. “I think I’ll just have to remove his ‘ownership’ then. He can be stopped, and I have the majority of Yuan backing my nobility. Are you sure you want to ignore my requests?” Eun Soo didn’t even feel the need to say anything else to Deok Heung, according to history he’d never get to the throne anyway. Eun Soo walked out of the room and slammed the door for good measure after she exited, saying in English “Moron.”

Eun Soo stopped in her tracks at the look of pure anger she saw in his eyes after she left the room. Choi Young pushed by her towards the room she just left, obviously he would kill him or torture him into telling where to get the antidote to save her. Thinking fast Eun Soo grabbed Choi Young from behind in a tight back-hug to stop his progress towards what could only be deemed as suicide.

“Please don’t. Let us talk about this alone. He wants you to lose composure just like he pushed me to lose it. I can’t stand the thought of being without you. Please.” Eun Soo was pleading with Choi Young as she was dragged to Deok Heung’s doom, and she didn’t care if he burned in hell forever she just couldn’t fathom a night without Choi Young by her side. He was the only reason she made it through these last few days knowing that she was most likely doomed to die by poisoning. “I love you. If you ever believed anything please believe that.” Choi Young stopped at the door right after she said this.

“You love me? Why? You obviously don’t share everything with me? You were poisoned and didn’t tell me, now you don’t tell me there is no cure in this world, and you give up going back to your own world where chances were you could get a cure? Do you just love holding me away from you? Is that what you love?”

Eun Soo said with tears in her voice, “Please come away from here, he isn’t going anywhere, and we can talk freely in our room or outside anywhere that doesn’t give him something to hurt us with.” Choi Young turned towards their rooms, but grabbed her hand as he left. Eun Soo couldn’t remove her hand from his vice grip even if she wanted to, although if she was honest with herself she never wanted to leave his side until the day she died. Of course that day was closer than she wanted, and he had just found out just how close that day was, so she understood what he was feeling and she could sacrifice her hand to his tight grip.

Choi Young spun her around into ‘their’ room, although technically it was still just hers if the Wooldalchi were asked the ownership. She didn’t want him to leave, and usually her tears or whining got her what she wanted from him. “Why? Tell me why I didn’t know?” Eun Soo couldn’t stand to see the hurt in his eyes or the tears forming there and for such a proud warrior to be hurt like that gutted her where she stood. “I love you and only you for my whole life. I don’t know how to answer so you can understand. I want to live for you only for the rest of my time. Your happiness and love are two of the reasons I can handle the bad. Don't let him take you away from me.” Eun Soo was swallowing her tears for herself, this man, and the life they could have had together if she wouldn’t have been poisoned.

“Tell me so I can understand.” Choi Young said closely to her ear as he pushed her back into the wall. “I want to hear you tell me why I am close enough to touch you this way, but not close enough to know you wi…” Choi Young’s voice cracked on the word and instead continued with, “might die? Why can you sacrifice while I have to stay silent?” Choi Young had pushed her far enough back that she registered a shocked thump into the wall behind her. “I love you,” Eun Soo started only to be interrupted by him lifting her up against the wall. Choi Young said forcefully, “Tell me so I can understand” Eun Soo couldn’t breathe any oxygen that didn’t smell like him, she didn’t want to talk right then either, she just wanted him to keep proving to her she was alive. “Imja tell me.” Choi Young pushed his hips into her in a way that made all oxygen leave her lungs causing her words to come out breathlessly, “I love you…I want to live for you Mianhamnida.”  Eun Soo wanted to feel alive.  She was ‘going to die’ had been on repeat in her head so long that she needed something to prove that she was still living. Choi Young had given so much to her, he would die for her she knew, but she needed him too take away the loneliness, sadness, and heartache the letter instilled in her.

Make her feel.

Every sensation that was possible between a man and a woman she wanted to feel with him. She loved him more than her own life, and she obviously was on her way to prove it. If he could just play the part for her, she needed him to show her that in this world there wasn’t another for him, she needed him to show her the passion inside him that he tapped down constantly, and she wanted to be irresistible before she died. Eun Soo reached down between them to tug on his clothes in hopes that he would pick up where she left off. Choi Young almost dropped her he was so shocked, yet he didn’t hesitate for long and she wasn’t disappointed.

Young was still angry because he didn’t know she had been dealing alone with this burden, but he was also terrified she was going to leave. Choi Young pushed her clothes down opening her up to his hardness to be cradled between her thighs. With a grown Choi Young said, “Tell me…why you are so far? Why are you open to me in this way, but won’t let me in. Help me understand.” Eun Soo could no longer breathe so much so that she was afraid she would faint as she reached between them to join them. “Eun Soo,” Choi Young said in shock as he buried his head in her hair “Why?” Eun Soo inhaled him again and said, “I love you, and you love me. Show me.”

Eun Soo held onto him as he began to move towards the bed “Here, Love me. Show me I’m alive.” Choi Young didn’t understand what she meant, but when she lifted herself up using his shoulders only to come back down on him, Choi Young understood then what his body wanted. There on the wooden barracks wall Choi Young loved her. He loved her even before that, but he worshiped her body almost like a deity. At first slowly he pushed into her afraid he would hurt her. She kept repeating in his ear how much she loved him, almost like a mantra against the negative that surrounded her. Choi Young increased his speed in increments until they were both mindless, and only doing what felt right in the moment. When Choi Young could hold off no longer Eun Soo, sensing his need, reached between them to give the extra boost to reach the plateau with him.

Eun Soo held onto him as he carried her to the bed. Almost like pulling from inside her hurt him he groaned at the leaving, and lay down beside her on the bed. Eun Soo said, “That was...” The silence terrified Choi Young into sitting up beside her and saying, “Did I hurt you? Imja are you alright?” Eun Soo took a long, slow, and languid look at him lying beside her and said; “I’m not hurt, just amazed. I saw that in a movie one time. I had no idea it could be that satisfying.”